My mouth says yes. But do my actions? Does my heart always answer yes to the question of "Is Jesus worth it?" What cost am I willing to pay? Truly. This is something that has weighed heavily on my heart the last couple days.
I stopped to read a blog of a girl younger than I who has given more than I can imagine to answer the call God has placed on her life. A young girl who has given up everything she valued in life to become someone she never imagined she would be, for Jesus. I read status' of facebook friends who are sacrificing for lent, some for selfish reasons others to take time to focus on their Creator. I went to bed last night prayerfully considering what I could sacrifice for the Lord. I felt Him tug on my heart and say, "I demand ALL OF YOU! All. Everything. What will you give me? Are you serious?" And I woke up this morning still clinging to my selfishness. Not willing to commit. Am I serious?! Am I serious? And that is hard to write. I want to be serious. What is wrong with me? My Jesus is worth it. Every ounce of my being clings to that fact.He is worth my entire life. Faith without deeds is dead.
My mouth says I want to be live for Him. But sometimes I have a hard time taking myself seriously. I know what God wants from me and yet I find myself time and again chasing after the worthless and meaningless things of this life. Things that I know do not matter. Things I know He controls, that I have no control over.
My challenge to myself is to sacrifice for lent. Ultimately, what I sacrifice has little or no value. It isn't about that, it is about taking the focus away from me and placing it on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my Faith, my Savior, my Abba, my value. How can I give all my mouth claims I want to give if I can't sacrifice even the small things?
47 days until Easter.
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